In Praise Of Mom.

Here at “Radio Dad”, our goal is to shine the spotlight on good dads, grandads, step dads, single dads, married dads…..all dads.  I consider myself an expert on fatherhood not because of a piece of paper from a prestigious university telling everyone that I am such.  I am an expert on fatherhood because I am one.  I have spent 21 years in the trenches of dad-dom.  I am the dad to 6 kids….a couple of whom are no longer “kids”.  I have made dadly mistakes and I have paid dearly for them….and learned from them.  My fatherhood is a work in progress.  I hope to become an expert on being a grandfather some day.  Over the last 7 months I have had the privilege to help take care of my aged and frail mother who is at the end of a productive life.  I would give you her age (she wouldn’t mind) but a good son should not reveal his mother’s age in public.  I think part of being a good dad is honoring mom.  Not only his own mom, but his kid’s mom.

I have often said that one of the best ways a dad can show his son(s) how to be a great dad is to be good to his son’s mother.  When I say that, you might automatically think of a perfect home with mom, dad, the kids, the dog, picket fence…etc.  I too have that picture perfect image of the great American family, stuck in my head.  Maybe those images are due to the TV shows I grew up with like “Andy Griffith” (although he was a single dad), “The Waltons”, “Little House On The Prairie”.  Dad is bringing home the bacon, kissing mom (who is in a dress and apron with perfect hair and makeup….the kids rush in as dad sets down his briefcase and picks up his little girl for a hug.  We all know that THAT America is gone, if it ever really existed.  I once read that fairytales don’t teach us life’s hard lessons.  But, in a more real sense a dad can honor and in fact cherish his kid’s mom in many ways, regardless of the home situation.

One sad fact of today’s America is that we have more broken and pasted together families.  More often than not, it seems, dad and mom live in separate homes.  Often there is a second husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.  Sometimes, sadly, there is NO male “father figure” at all.  Does this make honoring the mother of our children hard?  Of course it does and yes there are mothers out there who, in our eyes, don’t deserve to be cherished or treated well.  But, to not treat mom well, is to contribute to the problem instead of leading the family…in whatever shape it takes.

Grace, modesty, strength, frugality, sacrifice, order, beauty…these are just some of the qualities that make a mother so honorable.  In today’s society of  “all are equal” when we try to blur every line we can,  we dads can try to think of ourselves as being on the same level as a mother and in many ways we ARE comparative.  We too can shape great young people, love them, guide them and, as we know, lead them through the beginnings of a noble life with a skill set unique to fatherhood.  But the fact is we are not the ones who physically carry the child within our body.  We cannot know that personal, particular, physical pain of childbirth, nor the heartfelt pain when a child goes against us.  Take away the blurred line and dads are hard…. moms are soft…..and that’s OK!

To honor the mother of our children we simply need to understand that our children are a gift not just to us but to mom as well.  No matter what the family dynamic looks like, we should do our best to honor our children’s mom.

Momma happy

Here then are a few tips I can think of to go beyond a card and flowers in honoring our kid’s mother and perhaps our own mother.

1)  Respect.  I know, respect is earned, and with a mother it very often IS!  But, however the woman who gave birth to our children acts in her life, a degree of decency is what WE should always give and show.  This means that how we talk to and about that lady should be good and we should expect that from our kids as well.  I think when it comes to boys, how he treats his mother is likely how he will treat his wife.

2)  Give her a pat on the back.  Dads work hard ( or should )….mother’s work harder.  They work not just physically but mentally, nonstop, in their heart as they worry about their kids and entire family.  It’s good for a dad to publicly acknowledge her and also privately let her know she is appreciated.  Sincere words will go further than a bunch of flowers….although flowers help.

3)  While we’re mentioning flowers and small gifts, how about giving mom a day off.  Of course, moms NEVER get a day off (see “worry” comment above).  Take the kids for a day of fishing, offer to do the dishes, whatever you can do to ease the workload.

4)  Spend some private time with her.  Women love to talk and be listened to.  Do that!

5)  Write the mother of your children a handwritten note.  Make it from the heart, not some cheap, copied poem.  Really take time to reach deep and tell her how you feel about her and what’s on your mind (ONLY THE GOOD STUFF OF COURSE).

These are only suggestions to get the mind rolling and are meant as ways to honor the mother of YOUR kids, but I would think they are good things to do for your own mom.  Life is precious and short.  Make sure these cherished women know that they are exactly that…cherished.




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