Posted by on Jun 11, 2013 in Articles, Blog, Dinosaur Dad, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Pursuit of Stuff.

With “Father’s Day” coming this weekend, it occurs to me that we often struggle with words to pin down what makes a good dad. I got into a conversation the other day about how one knows one is in love. When you talk to a young person who is totally smitten with someone for the first or even second time and they say they are in love, ask them, “how do you know”?…generally, boys will say things like, “she makes me laugh” or “she understands me” or “she’s beautiful”. It’s at this time I respond with…. so, what if she suddenly stops being funny or what if she becomes not so beautiful or NNNOOOOO what if she comes to you one day and says “I just don’t understand you”….will you still love her?  Girl and boy by lockers

Love for another person goes much deeper than feelings. What???….“love” isn’t a feeling? NOPE…love is an act of the will. You find another person that you connect with so deeply that you decide that you simply can’t NOT want what is best for them on a very high level and you devote yourself to providing that.  You’re every act and thought at some point, comes around to what’s best for this person. A dad’s love must go beyond feelings, beyond hype, beyond the latest “rush” of excitement.

A dad’s love for his wife is this kind of love, but it doesn’t stop at romance. A dad’s love for his children is the same. It’s why he works hard to provide, it’s why he sets standards and rules for them, it’s why he encourages them to be their best. When we think of wanting the best for someone, in today’s society, we can easily think of experiences. We want them to “experience” the world and see things we haven’t….not a bad thing in and of itself, but those experiences can quickly take over and dominate life’s short road. We think in terms of how many cruises have we been on or how many toys (child and grown up) do we own….how much stuff can we cram into a 1 or 2 week vacation? A friend of mine put it in far better words than I…… “ As moths are attracted to a flame, we are attracted to the glitter of useless things. We live for what is passing and the illusions of our pride.” YOUZA!

This “Father’s Day” weekend….and beyond, I would like to challenge dads everywhere, as I challenge myself, to find the nobility in the title of “dad”. It’s our job to love, guide and nurture with humble authority, the deposit a life or lives that is/are entrusted to us. Walk with assuredness, talk with careful words and reject society’s image of the “dad” as a bufffoon and the fleeting search for satisfactions and recognition. Just know that you are the only dad your children have, no matter what the family dynamic may be. Have a very HAPPY Father’s Day!


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