Posted by on Sep 11, 2012 in Articles, Blog, Photo Gallery, Uncategorized | 0 comments

A Letter From A Daughter Left Behind.

   This is a guest posting from Tracy Taylor at   www.MyTurnYourTurn.com 

      Sharing a child with another parent, even in amicable divorces, can feel like an impossible feat most days. Often times, the parent that has primary custody takes the lead on the responsibilities, schedules, expenses and decisions for the children involved and indirectly for the co-parent. It is not uncommon for the other parent to feel disconnected from the family and powerless in the decision making process for how their children are raised. In strained relationships, arguments, talking behind one-another’s backs and general disregard of the other parent’s feelings can lead to much bigger issues and even abandonment. Sometimes it feels like leaving is easier.This unsent letter below is from a young woman that is estranged from her father at a young age due to the tumultuous relationship with  her mother (his ex-wife). As you read, you will note her struggle with coming to terms with him being gone and missing out on so many pivotal moments in her life. As a child, she believes it is her fault for the estrangement and later comes to the realization that there is another story she has not had the privilege to hear, her father’s. If this could be your child, we urge you to ask for help. Walking away is never the answer no matter how difficult it is, there are resources, tools and divorce recovery groups out there that can help you learn how to cope in this situation and do what is best for your children. Don’t give up. Your relationship with your children are worth it.

Dear daddy,

I’m all grown up. I really wish you could see me now.  I think you would be so proud of me. I don’t know if you heard but I am a mom now. My daughter has your eyes and sometimes when she smiles it makes me feel like a kid again. Remember when you used to swing me in the air at the beach just enough for my toes to touch the cool water? We would both get so tired that we would just collapse in the sand.

The memory of your face has grown dim as the seasons of my life move forward. The sound of your laugh is now only vaguely familiar. I don’t know what has kept you away all these years.  I don’t even know if you will get this letter. It has been so long since I’ve heard from you. Is this even your address anymore?  Is everything ok?

Of course mom was happy when you left and she practically had a party when a year had passed and we had still not heard from you. In the beginning, she was quick to point out all the things you did wrong but as the years passed, your name came up less and less.  She never told me why you never came home but I always thought it was somehow my fault. I am older now and know it was not me but secretly I still wish it had been different for you, me and mom.

I wish:

I wish you never left.
I wish you and mom never fought.
I wish you stayed closer and didn’t give up.
I wish you could have separated your feelings for my mother from your feelings for me.
I wish you and mom could have been nicer to each other and found a way to communicate.
I wish I didn’t hear mom crying about you all the time.
I wish you had shown up when you promised you would.
I wish you didn’t send messages back-and-forth through me like you and mom did.
I wish mom didn’t make you wait outside when we got ready to go with you on your weekends.
I really wish you and mom could have been friends who were once we’re married but now are not.
I wish you had been at my school plays and dance recitals.
I wish you could have walked me down the aisle on my wedding day.
I wish I could remember your laugh and we could laugh together again.
I wish I could look into your eyes and feel safe again.
I wish you had asked me what I wanted before you decided to not come back.
I wish I knew your new family and that I was part of it now.
I wish I knew the whole story not just moms.
I wish I had told you how much I loved you.
I wish I could take back the mean things I said to you when I didn’t want to listen.
I wish that we could turn back the clock and have a do over.
I wish you knew how much I needed you then and now.

Your loving daughter

Written by: Tracy Taylor & Erika Raia, www.MyTurnYourTurn.com


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